Each of these men will show why Love and Beauty has no waist size.
It was the darkest part of the restaurant where no one would see us. The table is lit with a single lamp. I use the piss poor excuse that I didn’t want to be harassed by the media but the truth is I didn’t want the media to know who I was in love with. I can admit it Tamara Owens had your boy Andre open. I hold her hand and the ambiance is perfect. Yet she had full hips, thick thighs and a curvaceous curves. She had big breasts and a cute face. She wore a beautiful black dress, her slanted eyes and high cheek bones.
“You look beautiful tonight especially with that rock on your finger.” She flashes it and her fat cheeks rise. I run my hands through her hair and kiss her lips.
“Thank you and it means a lot to me that you took me out. I know your image and the media.” She hung her head and I lifted it up with my finger.
“Baby, I don’t want to focus on that only you. The media, the press and social media doesn’t mean anything to me. It is all about you today.”
I heard Isaac the team idiot who was the cliché of NFL players flash jewelry, the perfect wife and mistresses and a hate for anything he didn’t feel fit in. He was draped with women who bounce out of the playboy bunny mansion looking for man to wine, dine and supply them with loot. Andre put his hand over his face and turns his head. Tamara sucks her teeth and sits up straight.
Isaac walks over to the table flashing his diamond in his tooth. He grins like a Cheshire cat.
“Dre, please tell me you are not fucking Ms. Piggy over here. You know she will get the endorsements for a slop bucket of food.”
He cackles and the ladies snickering along with him. Tamara never took her eyes off me. I rub the back of my neck and cut my eye at her. She raises her eyebrow and slumps in the seat. What the fuck am I suppose to say he is the captain of the team? I could be benched from playing the biggest game of my life.
“Nah, I’m just thanking her for helping me get three endorsement deals.”
She breaks her eye contact and lowers her head.
“Dude, I was about to say with all the fine ass women throwing their pussy around like Frisbees. You don’t have to settle for Ms. Piggy and Dre you the star. Super Bowl the biggest game of our lives I know you want to flash this ring on your finger.”
He showed the gold Super Bowl ring on his finger from a previous team. He pushed it in my face.
“Man, it is dinner you act like you caught us having sex. She does work for me. Come on now, you know the kid would never do a big girl.” I fucked up big time. My mouth has got me in trouble.
Her eyes water and she twists the engagement ring on her finger. She slides the chair back and Isaac, the women he is hanging with make pig sounds.
“If you’ll excuse me this Piggy needs to go and Isaac if you only knew what the ladies say about you and your tiny specimen of a dick. I think they call you Sir –shrink- a lot.”
She threw down her napkin and the ladies rubbed on his chest to fix his bruised ego.
“Stupid fat, gross, ugly, ass sitting on her back pig I can’t stand her and if you banging that you nasty as hell, Dre and then she had the nerve to turn the kid and not represent me.”
He adjusted his watch and ran his tongue across his lips. He ran his finger around the rim of his Rolex.
“Look I have to go and work out. I holler at you later.”
I take the stair run up four flights and run down the hall. I am out of breath. I slide the key in and I find her slamming clothes into her suitcase. She has her ring on the floor. I walk close to her and try to hug her she pushes me away.
“Baby, I am so sorry.”
“I don’t want to hear it that is the last time you embarrass me in front of your teammates. I’m done and I am leaving.”
She pushes me and I block the door, spread my arms and she looks in the air. She pats her feet.
“Move, Dre you humiliated me in front of him and his entourage. You didn’t have the courage to even stop him and you let him rip me apart. I can’t let this be a habit I deserve better than that.”
I swallow the lump in my throat; I touch her hand and kiss it. She snatches it away and bends down to pick up the ring.
“I messed up and I am so sorry. Please don’t leave, baby.”
She shakes her head and I pull her close to me. I stare in her eyes and begin kissing the tears away. I’ve done it over and over again. I kiss her nose, her cheeks and then her lips. She loves me unconditionally everything about me from my smelly feet to my ashy knees. I want the world to know I swear I do but I don’t want the media attacking her or my team mates. I am protecting her, right?”
“I will make it up to you I promise. “
“Have a good game and for the record I love you so much it is insane. It is why I put up with being in dark restaurants, meeting at secret locations and settling. You can’t want me to be your wife if you are ashamed of me. “
“I have this image to…” She cut me off put her finger on my lips. She understood my world, marketing and branding. She understood the pressure I was under to be a great player on the team. To live up the hype of being the ideal player on and off the field it was about creating a brand and a legacy.
“I know an image to uphold. Big girls don’t fit in the pro athlete’s world and I was stupid to believe that. I made a big mistake thinking Andre Tyson was his own man and not some cliché like Isaac and the rest of those wannabes.” She puts the ring in my hand and closes my fist.
“I want you to be my wife and I am not taking this ring back. I love you.”
“Behind the close doors when no one see that you like making love to a 250lb woman. That is too much like right to be honest and admit I’m your fiancé. I’m resigning from my position because you need a woman who is thin, pretty and fits the image of a football player who is playing in the Super bowl. You deserve that.”
She walks out the door and doesn’t look back. I hear her crying and it burns a hole in my heart. I run to console and then two more of my teammates step out their room. She steps on the elevator and I lost the game of love.I fumble, didn't catch the passes she threw of love and honesty. I let Isaac, the media and folks perceptions intercept me stop from me making a touchdown in what is the best thing to ever happen.
"You good ,Dre? No stress dude we got a game to win Sunday."
I crack a half smile and pretend I am not heartbroken.
"I'm good. I'm about to take a run and get my head in the game."
I open my door, call her back to back. She refuses to answers. I throw on my headphones, Lyfe Jennings crooning it must nice. I am met with a barrage of cameras, fans and none of the flashing bulbs know that I am crying, that I lost a piece of my heart. I sign autographs. I smile but in truth I want to scream but my pride hides every bit of the tears.
"Thanks for the love but I need to get my workout on."
They applaud as I run and images of Tamara's smile, her tears, her naked body I've kissed from head to toe. I feel the sting of tears, the burn of her pain cuts thin slices. I am that embedded into her.
I come back physically and emotionally drain. Isaac is making love to the cameras. He poses and I shake my head. He is the buffoon who has lost his soul in images, his ideologies of fitting a facade and he approaches me.
"Super star Dre."
I give him a head nod. I put the phone to my ear as Tamara number appears.
"Baby, thank you for answering my call."
"I got you the Nike deal and Gatorade. You have Dr.Dre who wants you to be the face of beats. For the record this is business and I do my job. As for us we are done. After the game Dupree will be your PR and brand strategist."
"Don't do this leave us. You love me and I am in love with you." I plead.
"You say that and I am not convinced. Prove it to me because your actions are real shitty right now. My job is done."
She hangs up and suck my teeth. I call her back and she refuses my call. My father is in my room. Supercoach, my inspiration and hero. He knows me better than I know myself.
"Pops, she is gone. The game, the media and I am suppose to be on cloud nine. I feel like hell. I am living for the media."
He leans in the chair and sighs.
"Boy, who are you living for? The media?NFL or Isaac Scott?"
I take off my clothes and clear my throat.
"I am living up to the image. You know the perfect woman, the attitude, the bling and glory."
He laughed held his belly. He cleared his throat and took s sip.
"You want fame or to be a helluva of football player? Those thots are not for you. Your image, son is living in your truth. Living a lie doesn't score touchdowns in life. You love Tamara and her size shouldn't matter. Be a trendsetter and not a follower. I raised you to be a man of good character and integrity. I raised you to never follow but lead."
I've been told since being in the NFL who I should hang with, what brand to support and to be who they want me to be. The woman I should married should fit the image of a football player. How about I live my life as a man of integrity and good character. I need to be true to my heart and it cries for Tamara Owens who happens to be a curvaceous, plus size woman and I am in love with her.
"How do I win her back? I just want my woman back?"
"You show her you love her and your not ashamed."
The crowd roaring, the field flooded with confetti. I am a Super Bowl champion, cameras, champagne, and we are clothed in a hats embroidered in the words "Champs." I look and she is standing there. Her hair pulled in a ponytail, her eyes on me. The microphones pointed at me. Show her better than you tell her. Show your heart.
I walk close to her and she said,
"You make me better and it because of you."
She folds her arms and smiles.
"No, it is because of you. Your hard work paid off. I'm happy for you."
I take her hand and I kiss each of fingers. The cameras, the players and the eyes are on us.
"Don't do this your image, you are a champion." She pulls away.
"I am man and I want to say something."
The cameras, the microphones and Isaac chuckles.
"Awww....Dre love the chubby chicks. He likes the fat and plump." he cackles and pulls an anonymous woman next to him and kiss her."
"I do love her and at least I know her love is real. It is authentic. All those broads use you for your money. They don't respect you or like you. If you want to live like that is all you, brah."
Isaac shook his head and scoffs.
"You just down played yourself, brah. You better off being gay then fucking a fat woman. She is a fucking pig and she is disgusting. You must like rolling in the mud with Mrs. Oink."
I step close to him and we both stand at 6 feet plus 5 inches, muscles jumping and eye twitching.
"You play boo boo the fool for the media. What you gon do is stop disrespecting my woman. You mad cause I got her. Is your hate really love? You're pathetic you pretend to be the man. Pretend like you got shit together but the truth is you fake.
I knew hitting him would destroy my career. Tamara eyes widen and Isaac snorts like a bull.
"You the one with the obese chick on your arm. I'm good with my ladies. Models and beauty queens."
"Dre, thank you."
She hugs me and I let a tear fall. I am bless to have a woman love me unconditionally. To love me without a shadow of a doubt. She love me when I had nothing. My days of her sitting on the field with me and I realize her love is authentic.
"I've done a lot to discourage you to never speak to me again. To walk away because I am an asshole. Apologies are not enough to make you stay. I messed up but I want you to know that you truly are a beautiful Queen. That everyday I made you feel ashamed because of your weight I will suffer because I lost you. I love you and though it may be too late I learned that real love has no waist size or fits a particular image or stereotypical lifestyle. The real image of love is what I shared with you. It took losing you to realize that. "
She is the best thing to happen to me more valuable than the Super bowl ring on my finger. She was my better half and I fucked up big time. She twirls her her curls, turn her feet inward and I can't take my eyes off her. I can't stop holding her hand and I know in my heart I can't stop loving her.
"Kiss me all over my face and I'll take you back, marry you and make you a daddy. Cook you good food and love you for life."
I kiss her nose, her lips, her eyes and cheeks. I play in her hair. I love my baby."
I get on bended knee, open the case and hands clap. Sounds of awww and the crowd screaming my name.
"I can't live without you and no matter what your weight is. It is doesn't matter.Your love is priceless and I realize I'd be a fool to let society make me feel ashamed for loving a curvaceous woman. I love you and in front of a stadium full of people on one knee I am asking you to
Please say you'll be my wife. I love you."
"A thousand times yes." She wraps her arms around me and kisses my lips.
Who you love, who you choose should never be because it fits an image or what society thinks. All that matters is what on your heart. Love and beauty will never have a waist size.
Author Tamyara Brown
My love for writing is unconditional. It is my sanity in this crazy world.