“I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.”
“911, What is your emergency?”
“Top of the morning to you. My name is Iris Johnston and I just shot my ex-husband.” I announced.
“The sun is shining and the approximate time I shot him is at 6:45 am. The garbage truck was two houses down from him picking up the neighbors trash. I drove up parked in front of the truck and at first fear sat in for a brief moment as he came closer. I studied him doing what he had never done for our household being responsible. I looked at the manicure lawn, the 4400 square foot brick house,beautiful furniture on the patio, plants that hung on its hooks and barbecue grill. The home that our children where our children where not welcome to visit him in.Insanity whispered in her ear kill him and for the first time she listen. She step out and then insanity took over. She drew her gun from her purse and shot him four times point blank range. Sanity cause a tear to drop but insanity also cause her to chuckle at what she just did. She dragged the chair and sat in front of his body, kicked it and pulled out her cellphone.
“Excuse me Ma’am what did you say?” She stutters.
“I am at 245 Sherwood lane sitting in front of his dead body dressed in a beautiful peach dress stained with his blood and white wedge sandals.I just shot my ex-husband in the head. You might want to call the coroner and the media too. Please hurry before his body starts to decompose and stink up this beautiful neighborhood.”
I end the call and rub the smoking gun against my head and then sit it in my lap. The neighbors are covering their mouths and the trash men stare at me phones to their faces calling the police. I sip on a cup of Tim Horton’s French Vanilla cappuccino and bite into a honey cruller doughnut. The sirens are roaring and the tires of the police car screech as they pull in front of the house. The birds humming and nothing is more beautiful than the crime scene. Insanity has given me a round of applause. Guns drawn, ambulance sirens, fire department, his wife running out screaming and crying.
“Drop the gun and get on the ground.” The officer shouts.
“Don’t fret my loves. I know I have the right to remain silent and anything I say or do will be use against me. I have a right to an attorney yatta, yatta and etc.” I brush the gun and the crumbs off my dress follow the instructions given to me. I lie on the ground and put my hands behind my head. The female officer cuffs me. I stare at his body lifeless.” She pats me down , makes me kick off my shoes and then stands me up. I stop in front of him and spit on his lifeless body. She drags me to the car and I say.
“He deserved to die be sure you put that on file. That smug bastard deserved to die? Over his dead body and his wish was my command.”
Her eyes widen and she shoves my head in the car I look on at that spectacle cause my insanity. After being booked, fingerprinted and dressed in a orange suit I am put in a cell. In my mind what I did was the right thing to do. I searched for the wrong and I can't seem to find it. Once again I allowed insanity to win I wasn't always this way. I was a better woman and I could quiet the voices but I am sick of him winning.
They sat me in a room and there was Detective Bishop Jones with sea blue eyes, full beard dressed in a jeans, blue tee-shirt and a badge that dangle around his neck. He leans against the wall studying me for several minutes. He placed the cup of red Kool-Aid and two slices of bread in front of me.
“That is what you wanted, right?” I twisted the bread and mush it in my hand.
“Yes, thank you.” I dipped it in the Kool- aid and took a bite of it. The juice dripped on my lip and I licked it off.
“Why did you do such a dumb fucking thing like killing your ex in broad day light. You didn't think that your children needed a mother or a father? You have to explain that to me today. I need to know why.” I dip the bread and this time I suck on it while it melts in my mouth.
“It’s simple I am insane.” He smirks and a sneer appears on his lips.
“There is no doubt about that but what led you to insanity? Did he hit you or rape you?” I drink the juice and break up the Styrofoam cup.
“Nope. I admitted to the crime. Are you a detective or a therapist? This is an open and shut case.”
“I want to know for me because I can’t wrap my head around a mother losing it all for no reason at all.”
“Losing what? What the hell was I losing? I struggled with those babies every damn day. Me and nobody else, okay. I watched him live it easy while he takes cares of other children who aren't his flesh and blood. He lives in a beautiful home while I lived in a raggedy ass apartment where the toilet overflows by itself. I get that he fell out of love with me and I accepted it. I get that after a while you lose interest in your wife but not the children they did nothing to him. He up and left trying to erase that they where his? He fired them and the sad thing is they love him.” I pick up the pieces of Styrofoam and ate one.
“You want something else to eat?” He asked.
“Nope, I want to talk. Tell my story.”
“I struggled all of my life with these babies by myself. Always barely making it or never having enough. I go and get a second job and it was never enough because day care took the extra I made. I begged him to just watch the kids and he wouldn't while I worked. He always was too busy or taking his wife and her kids on vacations. Always some business meeting or chick over his children was more important. His damn money always in damn rotation with some business adventure that he never had enough to pay child support. I had to apply for food stamps because it was never enough food to eat.” I pause, rock back and forth. I began to cry because the words are like a double edge sword.
“I understand that but all you had to do was take him to court and enforced the order.” I laugh and scratch my head.
“Are you fucking serious they suspended his license and he is still driving? When he worked they take his check so he'd quit. They can’t take what they don’t see Detective Jones. Society makes me sick with there so –call fix your life’s solutions it is just bullshit on a stick. Mommy takes on the bulk of the work, the blame, and the fault when something goes wrong.Takes on the blame when the child fails or doesn't dress well. I say something bad I am miserable and jealous because we've broken up.No, the issue is he won't man up and be responsible for his children. It has to be on his time, his availability and the last time I checked parenting was a 24/7 job. There is no vacations, breaks or sick days. I am insane because I chose the wrong man to marry and have children with. I have tried every tactic known to man to get him do right for his children not me . I was tired of seeing my babies go without. Tired of them crying because mommy can’t rub two nickels together after paying bills and rent to take them to a matinee movie.” He hands me a tissue and I wipe my face.
“I have a son and I am single parent so I get that.What was the straw that broke your back made you think this is it I am going to kill him?”
“I asked him for twenty dollars to buy a few groceries and I’d pay him back when I got pay. He said no.” He narrowed his eyes and rubbed his hand over his face.
“Over twenty dollars.”
“He owes me $175,353.26 in back child support. He said the only way I would get it would be over his dead body. So his wish was my command. So I figure I kill him and they will never have to struggle and suffer no more. They can live in decent housing, decent clothing and have the best in life living off his death benefits. Being with me I couldn't give them what they needed and they deserve the best. I am insane because I did it over and over again ending with same results with that man. Something had to chance and I was tired of food pantries, welfare, struggling and still nothing changed. I will serve the rest of my life in prison but as long as my children don’t have to live in poverty I am okay with that. My mother will get full custody and his death benefits. Any further questions, Detective Jones?”
“No.” He shook his head and walked out.
© 2013 Tamyara Brown- Tamluvstowrite
Author Tamyara Brown
My love for writing is unconditional. It is my sanity in this crazy world.