Fat Girl Vigilante-Chapter 1
Birthday Celebration & Death
August 3, 1986
“I watch my mother murder Daddy and I didn’t stop her. “-Michelle Sargent
I am an accessory to a crime though I didn’t commit it. She lied to us told us we were going to pick strawberries, eat lunch and fish at the lake. The sign read, Welcome to Connecticut, on the radio playing is Orange Juice Jones song,
“I saw you and him walking in the rain.”
Mama sings the song, popping her fingers and bobs her head. She looks at my father and kisses him on the cheek. Daddy taps his finger on the dashboard and looks back.
“This is the best birthday gift spending time with my favorite girl. I love you, bunny.”
“I love you too, Daddy. It was all Mama’s idea to come out here.” I squeal.
“I love you, husband and nothing is too good for you.” Daddy wipes his face and sneers at her. Mama attempts to hold his hand and he snatches it away from her.
“I told you before I don’t want shit to do with your ugly fat ass. I am only here to celebrate my birthday with our daughter and it’s the only way you allow me to see if her if you tag along.”
He folds his arms and stares out the window. Mama lowers her head, smooths her hand over her dress and sucks in her lips.
“Why do you continue to disrespect me in front of our daughter? I just want to love you and besides it your birthday for once just try to be nice, please.” New Edition’s song A little bit of love comes on and she begins to sing to Daddy. Mama sounds so good singing the song. I clap and Daddy chuckles, runs his tongue across his teeth, and raises his eyebrow.
“I can’t respect you because you don’t even respect yourself. Look at you in that raggedy ass dress, fat spilling all over the place looking like big ass bag of shit. What the hell was on my mind marrying you it must because of the way you sing because it damn sure wasn’t your looks? I am here because I love my daughter and she is all that matters so stop talking and singing to me.”
He spits out the window and turns his head. My eyes widen, my heart beating fast as she raises the sharp knife and stabs him in the shoulder blade. Daddy blood splatters in my face, his body slumps and he lets out a loud screech. She hits him in the face over and over again. She steps out of the driver’s side and walks to where Daddy is sitting. She opens the door and he falls on the ground. His face is swollen and covered in his own blood. Mama lifts up her skirt, pulls down her panties and urinates all over him.
“See what you made me do, boo. You released the beast I pleaded with you to treat me with respect. I’m sorry, husband. I didn’t want to hurt you, baby. Isn’t this what an ugly beast does pee wherever they want to mark their territory? It is just sad I took a tinkle on you, husband.” She pulls up her panties and for a minute she stares at him. She rocks back and forth.
She begins to sing another song by New Edition
“Is this the end? It seems to me you want to be free. You use to be mine when the chips where down. Boy, can’t you see how I feel and all these feelings are real. Ooh baby, I need you. Now I got to kill you because you won’t be mine. Now you won’t be around because you won’t feel love. Ooh, baby this is the end. Mama told me one day I would have to cut off your nuts and set you on fire. She never told me when it might happen because you a cheating bastard look at what has to happen I wish this wasn’t the end.”
I follow as she drags Daddy by his feet, his body covered in animal’s feces, hay and dirt. The barn is like the ones you see on T.V. surrounded by grass that is burned from the sun, dead bushes, pieces of the roof is missing and when I opened the door it squeaks. Mama lifts Daddy over her shoulder intentionally slammed him against the wall. A rusty folding chair sat in the middle of the barn and she slams him into it. She proceeds to wrap the yellow rope around his body, she giggles and he screams for help. Daddy is too weak to move, to run to save his own life, his left eye swollen shut, his bone sticking out of his shoulder and blood running down his chin. He is breathing heavy, gasping for air and musters up the strength to say,
“Help daddy please go get someone, baby”. I stood there not able to move fear had me frozen. He whispered again,
“I love you Bunny its okay I know you’re scared!”
Perspiration drip from my forehead as the sun beam through the hole in the roof, my clothes damp from sweat, tears, urine and the smell of animal feces in the air burns my nose. Daddy's blood drips into my mouth it taste like strawberry jam that has molded. Mama’s green eyes glow in the sun. She ran her tongue across her teeth. She took the red canister and poured the gasoline all over him. She didn’t speak and her dark skin crackled, her green eyes turned red and she keeps singing the Happy Birthday song.
My face cover in tears, Mommy stood there and asked him, “Do you love me?” He spit out the blood and in a hoarse voice answers,
“It’s been over for us a long time, and you know why, Pat. You are an evil fat Bitch. I love my daughter but I could never love you for doing this to my baby. So you gone just kill me in front of her and mess her up?”
She laughs and looks over at me.
“Yes, I’m teaching her something important and since you’ve made a conscious decision to not love me and treat me the way I deserve like a wife. It is your choice not mine to be killed in front of our daughter, Steven. I love you and even after I kill you the love will remain. I just want you to love me back, please. You fucked my best friend and made a baby with her just admit it. I promise I am not going to be mad no more just tell me the truth.” She put her hand behind her back and circled around the chair every so often looking at me and then him.
“I did it, okay. I made a mistake and I hurt you. I am guilty but don’t kill me in front of our daughter, please Pat.”
She lowers her head, her hand trembles, she digs her feet into the dirt, nibbles on her finger nails and begins singing,
“Mama told me one day it was going to happen but she never told me when. You told me it would have happen when I was much older. I wish it would have happen then.”
“You have secrets, you lied and no matter what you say she will always be my daughter. You fucked my ....”
She kicks him in the face, smacks him with the canister and then kisses him in the mouth. I look at Mama and then she looks at me she licks the blood off her finger. A single tear ran down her face. I'm trembling, my teeth chattering and it is hot as the devil's den but I am freezing. I am watching a horror movie starring my Mama and Daddy. She took the back of her hand and wipes her tear. She picks up the gasoline can and pours it all over him.
I want to stop her, let the words fall out of my mouth and say,
“Mama don’t do this.”
Instead like a newborn baby I weep for him. I tried to cover my eyes but she moves my hand. She makes me watch this horrid scene, introduce me to murder at an early age.
“Don’t you dare cover your eyes I’m teaching you something, child.”
She bent down in front of my Daddy holding his penis in her hand. She smiles at him and said,
“All I ever wanted you to do was love me the way I loved you. Happy Birthday, Honey and rest in peace”.
The knife removed the head of his dick and he screams causing the cows surrounding the barn to moo. I watch as she picks it up, kisses the bloody head of it and puts it in her pocket. It never fazes her that she was taking my daddy away from me. It never fazes her this day his birthday would haunt me for the rest of my life. The fact that seeing my Daddy bruised, battered and weaken would rewind itself a thousand times in the back of my head and be the nightmare that replays itself. His last words of I love you would be stored in my heart and soul.
She said to me, “The lesson of the day is as long you’re fat no man will ever love you. It’s why after today I will work hard to lose the weight, take back my control and this I vow no man or woman will never again get away with hurting me. Don’t you ever let anyone get away with hurting you and live to see another day? You hear me, child and if you do if you do I will kill you myself. If I ever find out you let a mother fucker take advantage of you. If anyone asks about your daddy you better say you ain't heardrom him or seen him. I’ll roast you like the pig you are on an open fire if I think you betrayed me. All you have is me I'm the only one who will take care of you."
“Yes, Mama.” I whimper.
“Now tell your Daddy Happy Birthday, goodbye and I love you.”
I shook my head and I looked at my father slowly dying. I whispered,
“I love you too, Daddy. Happy Birthday and goodbye.
The click of the lighter, the bright orange and red light engulfed his body. The smell of burning flesh, wood and grass fills the air. She walks out never looking back at him. I looked back wishing I were brave enough to save him. I no longer had a Daddy and forever the pain will be etched in my heart. It was over for him but for my mother it was the beginning of the saga for Fat Girl Vigilante!
© 2015 Tamyara Brown- Tamluvstowrite
Author Tamyara Brown
My love for writing is unconditional. It is my sanity in this crazy world.